Hot hot weather

Took the "emo" route home from school last night with Wee Kiat after rehearsals. The farms along Neo Tiew Road and the view across Mandai lake never fails to cheer me up. It feels like getting away from Singapore without actually leaving the country. So quiet, so unurbanised. Guess he needs as much of cheering up as i do. The long and winding roads just give us the opportunity to reflect and think of what we are doing.

Met Zhen Hui and De kai at the prata shop after putting down my stuff at home. Sat down and talked at some basketball court till 2 plus. Like some old uncles, we just kept talking about the same topics day in day out but we never get bored of it. Found 1 more supporter for my hall's play this coming saturday.

Had game at Innova JC at 11 am this morning. It's called the south east asian cup, but it is actually a tournament between international schools in the south east asian region. Temperature was 35 degrees, it did not help that our games kicked off at 11 am and 145 pm. Think i'm sunburnt after the games, but why should i complain considering that i am getting 140 bucks for my efforts. Feel so rich out of a sudden.

Training at jalan besar 1st thing in the morning, match at meridian jc after training, rehearsals in school at 230. Gonna be such a busy day, no make it week ahead.

Promoted

I am officially promoted to be a class one referee, means i'll get involved in the sleague, means more allowance for me.

Had C-Div school games at Serangoon sec, took me quite awhile to locate the school. The sengkang and punggol area is still quite foreign to me, no surprise i was lost for awhile. The games were easy to handle, only serangoon sec managed to play some form of football, the other teams were just..... Weather was a killer though, confirm become darker already. My emmisivity level i think gonna reach 1 soon.

Rehearsals was tiring especially after the games, tried my best to display some energy and pull some of the rest along. Supper and games at Ade's and Sophie's room before coming back.

NO QUIZ???

Had 2 quizes yesterday, maths and HRM. Did ok for both i think other than the fact that the guy beside me during the HRM quiz actually busted out laughing when i flipped my lucky coin to get the answer for some on the questions.

Biggest surprise of the day was that physics quiz was postponed to after the recess week. It's the first time that i saw the class being so dissapointed after finding out that a particular quiz is postponed. Maybe we just want to get quantum physics over and done with.

Went to renew my bike insurance, premium was set at $500 bucks for 3rd party plus fire and theft. Getting cheaper year by year but still equally taxing on my wallet. At least i can say that i truly own a vehicle, rather than those people out there who claim to have a car but everything else is paid by their families. Changed the sproket and chain, engine oil, led light bulb and the handle grip of my "wife", now she's ready to chiong for me again.

Saw her and avoided her twice yesterday, is this the correct thing to do???

Tired

Busy busy week and the week ahead

Friday had prime league friendly-woodlands played singapore under-18, last min given game, no time to prepare. Rushed to the stadium after lessons, super tired and the hot weather did not help at all. Flashed my 1st red card this year to the woodlands player for violent conduct. Felt that overall i had a good game.

Rushed down to the hall 2 CNY steamboat at commonwealth ave immidiately after my game. Was slightly late, missed all the lion dance and the hall dance. Good company and good dinner, never won anything in the lucky draw though.

Done the effective comm assignment 1st thing i woke up on saturday morning. Afternoon went for game at the jalan besar stadium. It rained heavily halfway through the match, super cold. Finished the game totally shagged but no major problems.

Then had another steamboat, this time with the AYG collegues. Was nice to have a get together to find out each other's progress after such a long time.

Sunday morning, went for training at PSA club. Lao sai-ed because of the spicy hot pot we had the night before. Stayed in the club to run instead of making the trip up mount faber with the rest.

Met the secondary school brothers for lunch at 313, 1st time i went inside there. Quite nice the place and the food. All of them bought tickets for my hall's production on the 6th.

Had rehearsals in school after the lunch, as usual its tiring and kept forgetting lines. Had some positive out of it though, it's the 1st time i got praised after doing the scene and i thought our dance turned out well.

Studied at Gek Poh CC after lessons on monday, it seemed that i can concentrate better at the study room over there. A solid 3 hrs of studying clocked.

Gonna have 2 quizes today, HRM and maths 2. 1 more quiz tmr for physics 2. Recess week gonna be so packed up with rehearsals, projects, lab, glider competition and preparation for more quizes after the term break.

Although its busy, i'm actually quite thankful for it as it helps me to forget certain things that i hope to forget.

4 years and 12 days

4 years and 12 days since my last posting, decided to revive my blog again. Used to blog for abit of attention from my peers, let them know how i am doing in life etc. Now it is just to let off some steam, to have an avenue for me to express my feelings(no one comes here anyway, i'll be surprised that i still have visitors to my blog after 4 yrs and 12 days of inactivity).

4 years and 12 days is a very long period of time, many things have changed. Friends have come and gone, some even have left this world. Have gone through national service,hope that it made me a better man though. Experienced my most satisfying job ever during the 2009 Asian Youth Games. 1 semester have passed during university. Previous post was about my basic course referee tests, now i am going to be a class one referee soon to be selected for singapore's only professional sports league. Everything just happened in a flash.

There are some things that just will not change. I still look as youthful as ever, seems that age does not leave an impression on me. I am still single, still looking for the special someone in my life, still longing for love.Still "loves but is not loved" Below is about this girl i met and which i screwed up myself. Quote from Vernon, sometimes zai qiu can also become piu qiu and this time i think i really piu already.

Met this girl in school, not exactly love at 1st sight. However, i grew to like her as the semester grew by. Maybe it is due to the teasing of my fellow coursemates whom paired us together as one. I began to see the good side of her, she is actually quite cute,haha. She is extremly truthful to everybody, kinda like me. Can talk to me over a long period of time. Very well brought etc etc, the list just goes on... In summary, everything i look for in a girl. I'm 22 this year, not young anymore, need to look for the special someone for me to settle down in life already. But oftenly in life, things do not go the way you want it to be. Tried everything i could to woo her, cough medicine when she's sick, fastum gel when she twisted her ankle, breakfast left by her door,supper trips,accompanying her by the beach to look at aeroplanes when she's feeling down, infinite messages and phone calls to find out how she is or just to say hi and so much more. I think i take care of her more than i take care of myself.

She kind of lead me on, thinking that i got chance but i feel its not her fault though, she just blur blured lead me on. I am already stucked in her love trap, no chance of getting out already. Then all of a sudden, came another guy in the picture. I suddenly felt inferior, they spent more quality time together, he fetches her to school almost everymoning, he organised an excellent birthday party for her which i had to be present. The birthday party was the most awkard party i attended in my life, by now, the whole course have viewed them together as a couple, and it is an open secret that the guy likes her. My birthday surprise for her had also to be innocently spoilt by her roomie.

I felt that i am losing the battle, she matters so much to me and i can't bear to give up the fight just like that. I decided to confess to her(although i aready know the end result) but if u nvr try u nvr know rite, on her birthday. Messaged her that we really need to meet and talk, just tell me when you are free. Was prawning with Zhen hui while waiting for her message, mind was always somewhere else during the session. Then her message came, she said she's free to meet me. Went to her house to pick her up, went to punggol beach where we talked. I told her my feelings about her, and that i want to make the person i like to be the most loved girl in the world, just that she needs to give me a chance. The chance never came, haiz. It felt so much better to just say everything out. Survived the ride back home, body went home in 1 piece, but heart was in a million pieces.

The aftermath of rejection is always not easy, not the 1st time i kena rejected but it is the most painful one. Life still has to go on, with a few stumbles though. Had a good drinking session with the rest of the hall production casts, talked and listened to the sad stories of the other cast members. It seemed like almost all the casts are as sad as me. No wonder we can click so well. Once i hid at the top of my block early in the morning just to look at her walk out of her block and into the guy's car. Cannot stand the fact that i did not see her for more than 1 week, so seeing her walk into the other guy's car sort of made me feel better.

I am still madly in love with her, however i learnt to accept things for the way it is. I'll give her all my blessings in her future, no matter who the guy is. I think i scared her with my msn messages last night, 1 mistake leads to another mistake. Ok let off enough steam liao, shall prepare to go for game later.

Shall end off with a letter i presented to her for v-day:
写给XX的信,
曾经答应过不要对你说出你不想听的话，于是我决定用这封信来对你表达我心里想说出但是说不出来的话。
自从我对你表白的那个晚上已过了二十天，我以为我可以很潇洒的把你放下。 可是我发现我没有自己希望的那么勇敢，那么坚强。到了现在我才发现你在我的心中已留下了一个不可取代的地位了。
当晚你问了我到底为什么会爱上你，我不可以给你一个很清楚的回答因为当时的我也找不到一个合理的见解。为什么在我的世界里会出现这一个天使可以让我每天这废寝忘食的想你，可以不求回报的为你付出，为你难过。我想了这么多天我终于想出了一个合理的答案。我就是爱上了你的天真，你的可爱，你的任性，你那个太阳般的笑容。可是我再也看不到了。爱上你可能是我一生中做过最傻的事。明知道不会有结果可是最后还是不知不觉的陷入你的那么绝情的情海里。
我从来没有后悔对你说出当晚我跟你说的话。因为我知道不管我有没有对你表白结果都会是一样的，我都会失去你。至少我还可以骗我自己我还有一丝希望，可能你会被我感动。可是现时的结果往往不会跟你相像中的一样，你还是拒绝了我。
被拒绝的日子一点都不好过，我夜夜还是辗转难眠。我每天都在怀念着你的笑容。有一个早上我还一个人默默地躲在block2的阳台上守候，看着block1 看着你刚睡醒的样子慢慢的走上‘他’的车，只是为了要看你是否过的好不好。
我想对你说，我对你的感觉依然没变。可是我已经明白了‘祝福也是一种爱’的道理。我要祝福你为来的感情路可以走的顺利，你要给自己机会别人才会有机会，有比我还要爱你的人就不要错过了。希望月老不要开捉弄人了！你还是会有一个默默守候着你的我 ,情人节快乐

你生命中的路人